The New and Ugly and the Fresh and Incomplete

I sat baffled the other day. Did you know that I have been in Fiji for over 6 months now?
The adage follows, I suppose, that time flies. Following this revelation of time passed, I pursued my place and thought-life right now.

About a month ago a little girl of 19 was brought to Homes of Hope. Her eyes were downcast. Weary as she held her baby girl. Jasmine, a shattered woman, was led onto the campus with a police escort. She had just come from spending a night at a police station with her baby because the man she was living with had tried to set her on fire with kerosene.

Slowly, conversations over afternoon tea uncovered Jasmine’s past, much of which is heart wrenching, involving gang rape, being sold by her family for $700, and the requisite abuse from those who should cherish and protect.

Yet my bafflement is washed in the sustaining life of God who makes all things new. New and fresh and incomplete…Incomplete. What beauty is the incomplete, because our Jesus is not done with His work.

The incomplete is Jasmine who holds her head up now. Jasmine has decided to give Jesus-walking a try, and after her first week of, as she calls it, “her change” Jasmine has said in a bewildered voice, “I never knew that ugly could be beautiful again.” I asked Jasmine to explain what she was saying. She did, and I asked if I could write down what she had just said to me, for it is a beautiful thing.

Here is what Jasmine said:
I thought, this Jesus is a man. And men are mostly ruled by hurt and pain. They put this on us. Then they told me that this Jesus wants good things, that He is love, and saving, and life. So, how could this new Jesus, new God want an ugly girl? I asked Jesus this, and He made me cry and said, “You are fresh like the rain and beautiful to me.”

And I am baffled by this New and Relentless God, who makes the Fresh and the Beautiful.

Just a Little Change

This past month has seen the ignoble death of my beloved computer. After a solemn eulogy and burial, I laid said computer to rest and commenced on a quest to annoy everyone within walking distance who owns a computer to let me borrow theirs, “for just a minute! I swear only want to check my emails!”

Stellar news is that my very generous home church is sending me a new one. So soon, very soon now I will not get in trouble for checking my email AND Facebook; if you could only see me giddy with excitement! Thank you, Sun Valley!

What a month this has been. This month has seen the start of the busy season for Western guests coming to visit and volunteer their time at Homes of Hope. This month has also seen the birth of two baby girls here on campus. One mum is choosing adoption for her baby; the other has moved back to Homes of Hope and is raising her little one.

In fact, we are so inundated with mums and babes that we have one more at the hospital in labor as I write this post.

Not only do we welcome new life to our campus and in our lives, God is ushering in His presence and Life on our beloved lady-residents. This month three of our residents at Homes of Hope have claimed an interest in knowing God more; two of them have made a life commitment to pursue Jesus and trust Him with their lives…welcome, sweet ladies to the Eternal Kingdom! God has been waiting.

Isaacing

Hello folks! Sorry for my black hole-esk sort of communication style this past month. Albeit I could come up with better excuses (in the format of tall tales), such as Mojo and Godzilla teamed up to complete the ultimate mini-monster duo and ate my computer (For knowledge of Mojo and Godzilla see previous post), quite simply I was busy.

Well, in lieu of anything witty or inspirational to write, I will instead tell you to pull up a chair and enjoy the mundane:

I have discovered that being “happy” in the midst of change and the foreign is a greater chore than I had anticipated. Let’s face it, being “happy” takes WORK.

On any given day I wake up to the sounds of the campus kitchen coming to life, preparing breakfast for the 30 women and their children whom live at Homes of Hope. I am jarred awake amidst crying babies, dogs barking, laughing women, and the occasional pan hitting the cement floor. Who in the world needs an alarm clock here?

So, I roll out of bed and start my day by sitting on a bench outside enjoying this view, a cup of coffee, and my Jesus. Around 9, I am either in a meeting, teaching a class, tutoring a mum, or meeting one-on-one with a mum and counseling. Some days I am bemused by the fact that even here, in Fiji, my life has taken on a sort of predictability.

And then there are the heart wrenching days: A new mum on campus sporting a black eye, six months pregnant and towing a 2 year-old. She was beaten and kicked out by her husband; her family urging her back to the man who is slowly breaking her spirit. She is terrified to go back. Homeless. Alone. Godless.

Or there is the mum who came to talk and ended up revealing a past of agonies and treatment unfit for a dog. Emotionally destitute. Broken. Powerless.

Then I eat dinner. Sit in my house by myself; try to lose myself in a book just to disconnect from reality for a while. Shower. Bed. Wake up and do this again.

So, “happy” is a choice. “Happy” is choosing to find the adventure in this day. Happy is smiling when my mood cannot reflect the smile I wear. Happy is letting God surprise you with Isaac.

Isaac. Beautiful laughter that God rains on me like nuclear fall-out; a bomb that drops and decimates the darkness, brings a smile and joy that changes how I view the world. Isaac, meaning “Laughter” in Hebrew (Genesis 21) is when God made Sara, Abraham’s wife conceive and birth a son. Sara said, “God had made me laugh” (21:6), and thus she named her son Isaac…Laughter.

Laughter, this “fall-out” sticks with me, mutates my very make-up. I marvel at God’s foresight in how He fashioned us, that I might be in the midst of the mundane or depressed and find resurrection in the moment through Isaacing.
The Isaacing, oh the Isaacing!

Love, Katherine in Fiji...

Not so Impressive Impressions

After a month and a half as a resident at Homes of Hope in Fiji, I have a few initial impressions. More than likely, these first impressions will reshape themselves to a more mature view of my surroundings. Yet, nonetheless, I find them absorbing.

Impression #1: Air-condition Anyone?
Seriously, how humid can a climate be? And when is winter?


Impression #2: That is the Biggest Bug I have EVER Seen!
I think this was my third week when I decided to move the suitcase in my house that has been functioning as my living room-clutter-catchall. Lo’ and behold, I move said suitcase and a centipede that is about 10 inches long runs from underneath the suitcase-straight toward me. I confess I danced and screamed like a sissy, which incited Godzilla to run toward my bedroom. As I chased the critter down with my water bottle, (the only object I had time to snag as the sucker boogied away) all I could think was, “You had better stay away from my bed!” And it did…it went into my broom closet, where I have yet to unearth the monster.


Impression #3: Dinner is Not for You!

No way. Really? Is that lizard seriously going to try and eat my soup? With me sitting right here?









Impression #4: I Have Friends!
How welcome I have felt meeting and getting to know Homes of Hope’s mums (These mums are the ladies who reside at Homes of Hope with their little ones). It has been easy to get to work. In fact my greatest difficulty has been in working too much and forgetting that I am still adjusting to a new culture, climate, and habits.


Impression #5: Hello McDonalds. You are my New Favorite Restaurant.
I will never again underestimate the simple pleasure of a taste of home…even when that “taste of home” is a cheeseburger from McDonalds, the much scorned bad-food joint in the U.S. Oh, man, that first bite into my cheeseburger…ahhhhhhh. Beauty.

You keen to come visit me yet?
:-) By the way, I named the lizard Mojo.

Bula!

Bula! This is “Hello” in Fijian, and so I greet you from across the ocean.

I am about half way through my third week here at Homes of Hope, and I am settling in well. While my time here has not been without its bumps-among which is spotty internet connection, illness, and the requisite home sickness-but as far as “bumps” go, they have been small and so surmountable.


My tasks thus far have been to settle in to my new role here, get to know the residents on campus (some 30 young mothers and their little ones). However, for now, I must tell you about one:

I had the opportunity to visit Homes of Hope in Fiji during the summer of 2009. While here I met a new resident, a young girl all of 14 years of age. This girl, whom I’ll call Nal, (to protect Nal, her true name is not given) had been sold by her family to a man 30 years her senior in order to pay for her family’s groceries.

At the time I first met Nal, she had a new baby boy fathered by the man whom purchased her. Nal was a belligerent, rude, and stubborn teenage girl. Yet, after watching Nal for a brief time it was plain to see that the anger Nal cloaked herself in was worn to protect herself from further betrayal and pain. I left that summer not liking this woman-child, yet understanding that her attitude and behavior was purely a posture of defense.

Today, Nal is still at Homes of Hope and she is 16; her little boy is 2. And the change in her! The angry, cantankerous, terrified girl is now a leader, setting an example and guiding other young girls who come to the campus. Nal smiles now. Yesterday I heard her laugh. Her eyes no longer scale people, searching, measuring them as if to see what gain they may bring her or if they pose a risk. Nal is changed. Nal has hope. Nal has a future.

This has been the very best welcome.

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane...

This up-date took way too long for me to get up on the blog, so I apologize. Allow me the excuse of how terrifically busy and joyful this Christmas season has been for me.

The New Year has truly heralded a time of great change and adjustment for me. As of this evening of January 11, 2011 I am 5 days away from departure to Fiji for 3 years. The next time you read a new post from me I will be writing to you from Homes of Hope in Fiji 5,000 miles around the globe, 19 hours ahead of you on the clock, and in the midst of a wet summer in the South Pacific. Bring it!

If you are so inclined, will you pray for me?
Please pray…
• That I and my luggage arrive safely in Fiji on the morning of January 18th
• That I remain in Christ during this time of transition
• That my momma is sustained and conscious of the arms of God wrapping her up as our lives change once again


Thank you!

Arrested: Beautifully Engaged

Hey Folks! I am recently back from missionary training in Colorado…talk about 5 Weeks of “wow!” Surprisingly, this training focused in on the heart of the participant (Missionaries heading to all corners of the globe).
Topics of discussion and study ranged from conflict styles, spiritual growth, emotional wellbeing, grief, etc. The training was filled to the brim with topics designed to make us Western missionaries think in a different way.

What changed my life:

1) Conflict: I know I am a consummate avoider of conflict. Yet, like most of us, I have never been challenged with the damage my confrontation style generates. I have new tools now. This is Good.


2) Grieving: For some reason, while I emote in a blog, I am forever hiding any demonstrative grief about leaving my family, friends, home, and country for strangers and Fiji. While in training I, along with my comrades, had an opportunity to explore the grief, fear, expectations, and tears that sit in our gut. Now, ask me how I feel about leaving. I will tell you I am excited…but never have I been more uncomfortable in my life. I am filled with anxiety that I keep handing to God because I am tired of it; this anxious feeling is heavy. Good thing my Papa-God’s shoulders are wide. This is Very Good.


3) Community: Few will receive the privilege God has granted me. For 5 weeks I lived with, cried with, laughed, became upset with, and spent veritably every blithering waking moment with 40 individuals who come from all walks of life. Enter men and women, young and old, single and married who have vastly different styles of worship and theological preferences; whom all love Jesus with desperation. Oh, the wisdom! Oh the stories of experience and heartbreak and change.

Oh, my Jesus, the beauty of dirty prisoners robed in Your righteousness. And they go all over with a message: Jesus saves. They will feed, bring water, create business, raise children, run camps, teach, rescue the molested. Live and live and live. What stunning Good. So Good.

And so I am home. For Now.

What now? I get to wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Good to know that God is good to those who wait on Him, whom seek Him .Lamentations 3:25

Okay, waxing poetic is complete :-) I am waiting on a call from my sending agency that says I am 100% funded for the funds I need to live. I am about $200 shy of what I need. Once I have this last $200 a month coming in I can buy my plane ticket and leave.