Have you ever tricked yourself into believing that you have given God control and that you remain in complete faith with Him? Well, I discovered during my visit to St. Louis that I was not giving God full control over the process of my life that involves raising financial support so that I can move to Nigeria.
As you may know, I left for St. Louis for 10 days in order to visit with family…and I had a wonderful time connecting up with anyone that can be loosely connected to the Robinson name. However, I was also there to build ministry partnerships with churches in the St. Louis area. I had the opportunity, through much persistence and a gi-normous phone bill (and as many times as I called, I bordered on being rude) to meet with missions committees and pastors from three different churches.
So, here is the scoop: I arrived on Monday and spent the day with my Grandpa. But the next morning I woke up feeling burdened with the weight of defeat, helplessness, and failure. You see, despite my calls and mail harassment to 20 churches in St. Louis, I was unable to reach even one pastor, or someone even loosely associated with the leadership of a church. Yet, until this second morning in St. Louis I had never been discouraged. I woke, sat outside on the deck, and proceeded to call church after church one final time…nevertheless, after my fifth call I put the phone down to stare out towards the knot of trees that line my Grandpa’s house, filled with anxiety. What went through my head: “What am I doing here? I am no good at this, and clearly I wasn’t listening to God when I thought and prayed about seeking financial partnerships from churches here.” So, I sat. I feared rejection and failure. We all do to some extent or another.
But slowly a realization came to me…regardless of whether I had been in tune with God’s will in coming to St. Louis for ministry partnership or not, I was here, and that I can, should, and will trust Him to bring about church partnership…even if not one single church would call me back. At this moment I knew that I had been selfishly clinging to control of my desire and need for support from churches.
I have said this often, yet sometimes I don’t practice what I preach-that, “God, I want You in control over every aspect of my life, because Your way is the way of peace, understanding, joy, and contentment for me.” So, it was time to give God control…After all, God was in the driver’s seat whether I was willing to acknowledge His driving abilities or not, He's like the ultimate GPS system. I gave it all up to God.
Twenty minutes later three pastors called to set up meetings with me.
2 Timothy 2:13 When we are faithless, He (God) remains faithful.
As you may know, I left for St. Louis for 10 days in order to visit with family…and I had a wonderful time connecting up with anyone that can be loosely connected to the Robinson name. However, I was also there to build ministry partnerships with churches in the St. Louis area. I had the opportunity, through much persistence and a gi-normous phone bill (and as many times as I called, I bordered on being rude) to meet with missions committees and pastors from three different churches.
So, here is the scoop: I arrived on Monday and spent the day with my Grandpa. But the next morning I woke up feeling burdened with the weight of defeat, helplessness, and failure. You see, despite my calls and mail harassment to 20 churches in St. Louis, I was unable to reach even one pastor, or someone even loosely associated with the leadership of a church. Yet, until this second morning in St. Louis I had never been discouraged. I woke, sat outside on the deck, and proceeded to call church after church one final time…nevertheless, after my fifth call I put the phone down to stare out towards the knot of trees that line my Grandpa’s house, filled with anxiety. What went through my head: “What am I doing here? I am no good at this, and clearly I wasn’t listening to God when I thought and prayed about seeking financial partnerships from churches here.” So, I sat. I feared rejection and failure. We all do to some extent or another.
But slowly a realization came to me…regardless of whether I had been in tune with God’s will in coming to St. Louis for ministry partnership or not, I was here, and that I can, should, and will trust Him to bring about church partnership…even if not one single church would call me back. At this moment I knew that I had been selfishly clinging to control of my desire and need for support from churches.
I have said this often, yet sometimes I don’t practice what I preach-that, “God, I want You in control over every aspect of my life, because Your way is the way of peace, understanding, joy, and contentment for me.” So, it was time to give God control…After all, God was in the driver’s seat whether I was willing to acknowledge His driving abilities or not, He's like the ultimate GPS system. I gave it all up to God.
Twenty minutes later three pastors called to set up meetings with me.
2 Timothy 2:13 When we are faithless, He (God) remains faithful.
1 comment:
thank you for your blogs they are such an amazing encouragement! :)
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